By David Kadavy
Today’s guest post is from David Kadavy, longtime partner of Femgineer and author of Design for Hackers (which debuted #18 on all of Amazon).
I don’t know about you, but whenever I’ve received “simple” advice it’s left the voice in my head screaming:
“WE’RE DYING! WE’RE DYING! FLEE!”
The last time I heard this, my heart was racing. It was convinced my whole body was going to die.
I had to use my brain—that great rational tool, the human forebrain—to try to tell it otherwise. This was the easiest way to say “hey, heart, we’re not dying. Calm down.”
I was lying face-up in the pool, gently kicking my legs, while an 8-year-old slid by, cutting through the water with expert precision, in the lane next to me.
I had tried before to learn how to swim. I even took lessons as a child, but the reaction every time I hit the water was the same: my chest would tighten, and I would quickly be out of breath. This wasn’t helped by the fact that I didn’t understand, mechanically, how the swimming stroke was supposed to work.
So, there I was, 31 years old, floating. My only mission today was to get my heart to shut up.
I returned twice a week, just to float and kick. One day, my heart stopped racing. It said to itself “Oh. Water. We were just here. Nothing bad happened. Carry on now.”
I progressed through the prescribed drills: turning from side-to-side, extending my arm, eventually rolling all the way over.
With each new drill, my heart got scared again. But because each new drill built upon the previous one, it soon became calm. I was once again able to use my brain to navigate the new and unfamiliar mechanics, and program them into my Basal Ganglia.
Many of you reading this probably can’t even remember a time when you didn’t know how to swim. It’s automatic. As easy as walking.
You may have tried to teach a friend how to swim at one point. “Just do this, that, and the other thing. It’s easy!”
Chances are, your friend still can’t swim.
The problem with “simple” advice from most experts is that it’s a rehash of their own perceptions of the task at hand, which, for them, is pretty easy.
They’ve forgotten all of the “micro-skills” they learned along the way that have made it feel so easy.
They’re standing on a mountain, and they need to teach you how to build a molehill.
If you’ve ever tried to learn design—just what, exactly, makes something beautiful—when you’ve talked to a designer, you’ve probably gotten more of the same. They shrug their shoulders, and conclude that maybe it’s something “you either have, or you don’t.”
They’re half right. It can be something that you just “have.” Some people are born with talents. They’re playing Beethoven’s 5th Symphony before their umbilical cord is cut.
But there’s only a “don’t” if you tell yourself that.
I have all sorts of reasons I shouldn’t be able to swim. I’m just “not built” for swimming. I’m too short, I’m too lean, and I’m too prone to being anxious. I had already tried all of my life, and I had already failed.
But, I found a methodology that broke it down in a way that made sense to me, I followed the drills, and now I’m a decent swimmer. With great mechanics, I believe 🙂
Whether you’re trying to learn design, or just trying to break through emotional barriers in the process of entrepreneurship, you’ve probably experienced something similar to what I experienced whenever I would get in the water.
Okay, maybe your heart isn’t screaming “WE’RE DYING! WE’RE DYING!”
It’s probably more subtle.
It comes when you’re staring at the blank canvas, or it comes when you’re trying to prioritize features for a product.
It’s the feeling of being overwhelmed, and scared, and lost in the process.
The best way to kill that overwhelmed feeling is to break things down into chunks. Down into little micro-situations and micro-challenges in which you don’t feel it anymore.
It’s in these small challenges that you can experience success, build your confidence, and quiet down your nervous system.
So, next time your heart is screaming “WE’RE DYING! WE’RE DYING!,” step back and give it a smaller challenge that it can handle. It will shut up eventually.
About the Author
David Kadavy is the author of Design for Hackers, which debuted at #18 on all of Amazon. In his free email course, he reverse-engineers design specifically for the minds of developers.
