By Poornima Vijayashanker Nearly four years ago, when I began BizeeBee I felt like I wasn’t making progress at the same rate as my …
By Poornima Vijayashanker
Nearly four years ago, when I began BizeeBee I felt like I wasn’t making progress at the same rate as my peers. I blamed myself and doubted my leadership style. I decided that I needed to be more like people I had been led by in the past. I chose to adopt all the qualities I thought were their strengths and ignore anything I perceived as a weakness. To me, those strengths were what led to progress and getting things done! I went against my own personality, my own instincts, and became someone else in order to achieve results that would be on par with my peers.
Becoming a copycat instead of leading the pack.
For awhile things were fine, and my team just charged forward. But then a strange tension began to develop on the team. The culture that was consuming my company was not the original culture I had set out to build. I even began to notice signs of it in my own personal life. Funny how poor leadership qualities can permeate every aspect of your life!
People at BizeeBee were curt with each other, it wasn’t a caring culture, it was just cold. Even though things were getting done, no one was happy, certainly not me! It wasn’t until my first engineer, David, said he was quitting that I got the wakeup call. He told me during our weekly 1-1. As a result, our usual 1 hour 1-1 became 2 hours.
David told me how miserable I had made him. That my style of leadership had caused him to question his own abilities. He didn’t want to feel that way anymore, and so the only solution for him was to leave.
Then it was my turn.
I admitted my mistake, and told him how this wasn’t the company culture I had wanted to build. I didn’t mean to treat him like just another engineer, and I did think he was doing a stellar job. But somehow my desire for results changed my leadership style, how I treated my teammates, and showed my appreciation for their efforts.
I knew I had it in me to fix the situation, so I asked for a second chance, and he agreed to give me just one month.
He ended up working with me for years.
I’ll never forget that experience, because it was a reflection of lazy leadership. Adopting someone else’s style, rather than believing in myself and taking the time to cultivate my own.
Learning to listen and act on criticism.
It was around the same time, that my first co-founder left. Before we parted ways, she left me with words that were of course hard to digest. She told me, “Don’t just make people do the things you want to do. Give them an opportunity to explore.”
It took me a little while to understand what she was getting at, because of my thick skull! But overtime I got what she meant. I needed to learn to balance being frigid and flexible.
Now there are times that I won’t budge. It’s not because I’m trying to deliberately be a pain, it’s because I have learned to trust my gut. I do my best to communicate that to my team, so they also understand. Other times when I’m unsure or know that I need to give others a chance, I stop thinking that they way I do things is the right way. Instead, I give my teammates the freedom to do things their way and leave their mark on the company.
Leadership is hard.
You’re being pulled in an number directions. Sometimes you feel like you’re being scrutinized. Other times you say to hell with what others think! It just takes awhile to understand how to react to situations. You have to take the time to find the qualities that fit your style, and give yourself time to learn from experiences. It’s important to introspect because your style of leadership will affect any group you lead whether it’s a team, a company, or even afamily!
Are you a leader? How have you learned to lead and develop your style? I’d love to know, so please tell me in the comments below!
