By Poornima Vijayashanker
For the past couple of weeks I’ve been focused on writing about partnerships. I started off writing about picking provocative partners, and last week wrote about why it’s important to work with partners who can keep up. Today I am writing about how to cope with a leaving partner. The reason I’ve stuck to this theme is mostly because a number of readers, like you, have written in to share their stories with me. Some of you have had amazing experiences, while others have struggled. All your responses have caused me to focus on how partnerships can impact a project both positively and negatively.
While this isn’t my last word on this topic, I’m going to end on this theme, this week, by talking about parting with partners, because it is a reality that many of us face. However, I don’t think enough people take a constructive approach to it, because they haven’t been presented with one. We more often experience or witness the ongoing battles and dramatic departures that not only wreak havoc on our emotional well being, but those around us, who may just be innocent bystanders.
I’ve had a number of partners and co-founders over the years, who decided to leave for personal reasons. While I was sad to see them go, I acknowledged their departure was the best for both of us. In some cases I ended up working on projects with them much later on.
But in the moment, when someone announces their desire to depart, you feel like they’re leaving you hanging, you’ve done something wrong, and you desperately want to react! However, there are ways to part peacefully, let’s explore some of them.
Be Honest About What YOU Want and Aren’t Getting
It’s easy to blame yourself or your partner, but the reality is that in every partnership there will come a time when someone feels like they just aren’t getting what they want and those feelings are natural. It could be because the business has changed course, your partners have changed, or they just want something new.
If you’re the leaving partner that wants something new then it’s important to bring it up. Or if you notice your partner’s change in behavior, then acknowledge that you’ve noticed a change in them.
Once you’ve taken the time to bring it up, you’ll both want to figure out if there is still alignment in your interests, and a way to get what you both want.
If there’s already a lot of personal strain between you two, and you don’t think it’s possible then you need to put a plan in place to part with a firm deadline.
Acknowledge the Need to Part Publicly
Remember how I mentioned those innocent bystanders above? These are your employees, investors, and other partners. They are going to be affected, may take it personally, and their motivation may be affected. So it’s important to bring them into the conversation. Give them reasons for why you and your partner have decided to split. They may or may not have something to say about the issue or show a deep concern, but no matter what know that they are affected and need to be heard.
Finally, share your transition plan with them. They need to understand that there is a future, and they are very much a part of it.
Part Ways
Sometimes partners just linger, and if they linger for too long what started off as an amicable departure can get dicey. This is why I said you need to have a firm deadline, and enforce it.
If there is any hesitation then you’ll once again need to have a conversation around the hold up.
You’ll also want to review all contracts and paperwork that were previously signed. Make sure that both you and the leaving partner has a clear understanding of who owns what, and if there is any conflict or confusion bring in a third party like an attorney who can clearly explain legalese.
Move Forward
Once you’ve parted ways it’s only natural to feel loss, but remember there was a reason for going separate ways. And if you still believe in the project and direction then keep at it!
Initially, it’s going to feel like an uphill battle, but it’s actually the time to recognize what you do have. And if you do want to find someone to help then you’ll need to be open to the idea of forming a new partnership.
I remember when my original BizeeBee co-founder left. It was about 9 months into the business. My team was concerned, and thought that we should close shop. But I reassured them that would could and should continue. A few months later we ended up launching the product, and celebrating a key milestone.
During the time of my co-founder’s departure, there were a number of people who were really eager to step in, but I wasn’t quite ready to take on a new partner. I needed sometime to reflect on the business direction because that had been the catalyst for my co-founder’s departure along with my own behavior. I needed time to grow as a leader, understand what my strengths and weaknesses were, and to learn how to convey a compelling vision. I figured doing all of these things would help me find a complementary partner.
It took me about a year to find my next co-founder. I ended up promoting the second engineer I hired, because he had added a tremendous amount of value to the company. Together we were able to make progress and focus on different parts of the business.
You enter into a partnership with a positive attitude, and most of the time you learn to weather the bumps together. But sometimes you have to part ways, and that doesn’t necessarily mean you cannot move forward and make progress.
Now I want to know: have you ever had to part with a partner? How did it go for both you and the leaving partner and what did you do after the departure? Let me know in the comments below!
