By Poornima Vijayashanker Lately the concept of money has come up in a …
By Poornima Vijayashanker
Lately the concept of money has come up in a number of my conversations. especially when it comes to how we settle accounts between close friends and personal acquaintances like clients.
I’m a fan of this French quote: “Les bons comptes font les bons amis.” Translated literally means: Good accounts make good friends.
However, I know people get a little bit queasy when the topic of how to settle accounts comes up. So I’m going to give some personal examples of how I’ve dealt with sensitive situations and I’m hoping it will help.
My Best Friend
You remember a few weeks back I told you that I officiated my best friend Jessica’s wedding right? If you missed it you can read it here.
The day after I was getting ready to check out of the hotel and the concierge handed me a bill, and asked me to pay. I wasn’t sure if I was mistaken, but I thought Jessica had mentioned that she would be the one settling accounts and paying for one night of my hotel stay.
Instead of getting annoyed or yelling the concierge, I just went over to Jessica and said, “Hey Jess, the concierge handed me the bill for the hotel room. I don’t know if I was mistaken, but do I need to pay for the hotel room?”
She of course said no, and promptly marched up to resolve the issue with the concierge.
Yes that was a doozy!
Refer to the contract.
A similar incident happened to me at my last speaking engagement. Right as I was checking out the concierge handed me a bill.
I was pretty sure I had requested that the company pay for my travel and accommodation. Once again I wasn’t sure, so I opened up the contract, read through it, and sure enough there it was in black and white.
The concierge wouldn’t let me checkout without paying the bill, so I went ahead and paid it.
Then I sent the following email to the person who was in charge of booking me as a speaker.
I wanted to let you know that I received a bill for the hotel room this morning, I went ahead and paid for it, but since it was part of my speaking contract I’ll be sending over an invoice to have it reimbursed shortly.
Once again, there had been a mixup, and within 24 hours the company had reimbursed me for the room.
Doth protest too much.
Yes those first two were pretty straightforward. So I’ll tell you about a much harder incident I had a few years back.
I had done some work for a client, and requested that they pay 50% up front in order to have my team’s time. After the work was completed, I messaged the client to let them know we had finished the work and to review it. I messaged them a couple times over the course of the month, and received no response.
Their silence got a little annoying. I had hired a contract developer to help us out, and he was demanding to be paid, rightfully so.
Before I called up the client one of my wise employees told me, “They probably don’t want to pay the bill. Have a contingency of getting back some of the money.”
Well my employee was right. I got on the phone with the client, who began to complain about how we didn’t build what they had requested. We went through a couple rounds of negotiations, until finally I stopped it, and leveled with them, saying, “Look I’m sorry you are disappointed by the work we’ve done. I had made numerous attempts to call and ask you for feedback on the work, but didn’t hear back. My team has put time into this, and I need to pay them for their efforts. I understand it wasn’t done to your liking, however, can we agree to settle accounts shortly? Since you feel like you were slighted I will offer you a 10% discount.”
The client agreed and paid up.
I don’t usually give discounts, but I realized my mistake: I needed to do a better job of communicating expectations and putting it in the contract! For that alone I footed 10% of the bill.
Let them have their cake and eat it too, you’ll find more cake somewhere else!
There was an incident last year where one person felt like they received absolutely no value from working with me. When they questioned my motivations, they hit a nerve. But I’m not someone who yells and screams to get my way. I’m also not someone who wants to make money by cheating others, I know I can make an honest and decent living.
Ultimately, I knew there just wouldn’t be a good fit going forward, and they would probably always question the value I was adding to their lives. Instead of getting upset at them or protesting, I just gave them a full refund, and sent them on their merry way. They were pleased, and I know they feel like they got the upper hand in the situation. Perhaps they did. I mostly saw it as a lost opportunity to work together.
Giving back the money was minor, I knew I’d find other people to work with going forward. And even though I was already doing it, it reinforced the need to be even more selective about who I was doing business with.
I’m a firm believer that you can reach an agreement when it comes to how you settle accounts, and yes there is always an exception! Before I start to get emotional I take the time to review the facts. In cases where I know I might be in the wrong, I am willing to make a conciliation.
There’s a fine line between sticking it to people and being a pushover. You don’t want to resent people, but at the same time you don’t want to be all high and mighty. Ultimately, it’s the relationship that matters, but to keep humming along we need to remember the simple French quote: “Les bon comptes font les bon amis.”
Now I’d like to know when was the last time you had to settle an account with someone? What was your approach and how did things play out?
