The journey of a founder is tough. You have to get comfortable with rejection, learn to bounce-back from mistakes made due to a lack of knowledge or experience, and keep hoping that your vision will come to reality. All the while motivating others, building and shipping a product, and finding ways to make the business profitable!
While I’ve been in startup land for 7+ years, it’s officially been 3 years since I started my entrepreneurial journey as a founder. It is a hard transition from founding engineer to founder, but I’m actually happier, calmer, and more confident than I was when I first struck out on my own. Not because business is booming, in fact I’m personally poorer and have more gray hairs than I did when I started, that’s just what happens when you bootstrap! I’ve gotten smarter and stronger when it comes to dealing with a host of issues to the point that it now takes quite a lot to phase me. No I haven’t become a robot… I’ve just learned that spending too much time lamenting means that I’m not spending time enjoying how far I’ve come, and that it will cause me to stray off course from where I’m headed next.
Before becoming a founder I had small bouts of depression and anxiety, and over the past few years I’ve had a long list of really bad things happen to me. I’m fortunate when they just happen one at a time, rather than all at once! But I’ve learned to push through all of it. I don’t let life’s little stresses get in the way of what I love doing most, and I have to be honest and remind myself that I chose this journey!
I know that not everyone is built like me, and they shouldn’t expect to be! I had a rather tumultuous childhood as an immigrant that has helped me build up a reserve of resiliency. However, even a few years ago I sought out professional help, but was told that the most I needed was to learn some life coaching techniques. They have helped me out tremendously. I say all this because in the wake of a fellow founders death it’s important to recognize that we are all after all human, social creatures, who need support, and nurturing. There is no shame in going through a rough patch, and actively seeking out help. The key is to seek it out!
The journey of a founder is a hard one. Over the year’s I’ve come up with my own secret formula for staying even-keel, and much of it has been inspired by the life coaching techniques I’ve learned. Here are my 7 somethings that keep me smiling:
- I do something silly! Like braving the cold waters of the Santa Cruz bay to body surf with Lyndi.
- I do something just for myself. Indulging in massages, chocolate, red wine, and always setting aside time to do yoga.
- I do something serious. Taking the time to acknowledge that I have comforts and personal freedoms that people, especially women across the world don’t have.
- I smile and do something for a stranger, without expecting anything in return. My personal favorite is smiling at those who scowl, opening the door for them despite their less than peachy nature, or letting them cut in line when they are in a “hurry”.
- I do something with good and close friends. I’m fortunate that I have a lot of friends, who care about me. There are times that I cannot meet with them, but I do my best to make time. When I do, I keep it simple like playing a game, talking on the phone, or just enjoying a meal together.
- I do something aspirational. Reaching out to those who just might be unreachable, and doing it over and over again until they acknowledge my presence.
- I do something depressing. I know this seems ironic, but I like to visualize the worst possible failure that could happen to me. Once I know what it is, I know that I can handle it even if it happens, and I work hard to try and mitigate it as much as possible.
My barometer for success has always been and will continue to be having a smile on my face. It’s how I know I’m enjoying myself, and doing what I love. When things start going a little south I try to do 1 or all 7 of these somethings. You can try these out yourself, but you may have to find your own special somethings. The most important thing to remember is that sometimes you need a little help and guidance to find them, and that’s OK!
