Most of us have watched Star Wars and know the story of how young Anakin Skywalker turns to Darth Vader. Despite being the so-called …
Most of us have watched Star Wars and know the story of how young Anakin Skywalker turns to Darth Vader. Despite being the so-called “choosen one” the loss of Padmé causes Anakin to give into the dark side. I see this trend in many bright and talented individuals, after hard times or loss they get angry or bitter and lose hope. Allegory aside staying peppy in a world filled with pessimism is hard. Yeah I know what you’re thinking “thanks for sharing your first world problem with me Poornima, have a nice day (click!).” But wait just a second… this is actually an ongoing cause I have that I won’t stop fighting for.
See I’ve been cursed with this uncanny superpower to get rejected day after day (sometimes multiple times in the same day!), get hit by a car, and still have the ability to pick myself up put on a big smile and get back to enjoying my day. How is this possible? Because I’ve actually witnessed the dark side first hand. I grew up and lived with two men who battled depression for a long time in their own forms. I thought both of them were brilliant, but they both really struggled to bring their vision of how they wanted to live their lives to reality. My uncle struggled with alcoholism for 20+ years, and my dad had his own insecurities that held him back from accomplishing what he wanted to which left him with a life filled with regrets.
It pained me to watch both of these men who had many advanced degrees, intelligence, and a lot going for them not enjoy their lives because they were always caught up in a cycle of self-destruction. Despite their many attempts to pull themselves out of it, it took them nearly 30 years to make it happen.
Its easy to be unhappy, and its easy to throw in the towel. What’s hard is challenging yourself to not give in to the dark side, staying bright-eyed, and hopeful.
So this superpower of staying peppy was actually just years of observing all the potential that my dad and uncle had and wasted. The years they could have spent advancing themselves, and spending time with their loved ones is only now becoming a priority. There is nothing more painful to me than to see brilliance and the human mind wasted. 30 years seems like a long time to me, considering that’s basically how long I’ve lived.
Value Yourself
No I’m not talking about the egomaniacs out there who think they’re so amazing. I mean set standards for yourself, your own decorum, and how you want others to treat you. This is easier said than done, but you have to have the strength to reject bad behavior and acknowledge your own.
For me valuing myself means prioritizing my health and sanity. While it might seem like I’m always on-the-go I actually give myself a LOT of time to introspect. I usually like to do this while moving, which means while walking, running, or doing yoga.
Its easy to get overwhelmed, especially if you’re a go-getter like me, and its easy to be overly social. To balance this out I’m always looking for periods of solitude, and sometimes I just schedule it in or have to say no to opportunities or events to keep my sanity.
Learn to Obsess on the Good
Obsessing on all the shitty things that happen during the course of a day is easy. We all have shitty days, moments, weeks, and some us even years! I started a little habit recently where I actually count the number of shitty things that have happened, against the good things, and even if there is just one good thing I’ll fixate on it before bed. This trick also seems to lead to sweet dreams, at least for me 🙂
You Don’t Have to Be Peppy All The Time
Contrary to popular belief, I’m not alway bubbly, I do get blue from time to time… usually during basketball season 😛
Its OK to acknowledge being sad, especially after loss, rejection, or just a long day. The key to preventing sadness from being all consuming is action, and pursuing friendships.
When All Else Fails…
Imagine what the dark side will be like. I actually did this exercise many years ago, when I thought it might be easier to be a recluse. I visualized what life would look like, and if you can’t visualize it then I suggest walking yourself over to a homeless shelter. As sad as it sounds sometimes its humbling to see other people suffer to get yourself out of a rut.
Why Do I Bother?
This isn’t a crusade to save the world, it’s actually just a selfish act of seeking to see more smiles 🙂
