Coder. Speaker. Writer.

  Looks like the job market is hot right now for engineers; Web 2.0 companies are sprouting up everyone, and as always there’s a dearth of quality engineers. So I’m sure it takes recruiters and managers a lot of effort to lure good engineers away from their existing jobs. Now I’m not one to get offended very easily, but I thought it was quite humorous when I recently received this email in my LinkedIn inbox…

Hi Poornima,

I took a look at your profile and you are definitely the kind of guy that we would like to work with for our startup.

Sorry buddy but if you had done a simple Google search on my name you would have realized that I’m probably not the kind of “guy” who would like to work for your startup. Guess they forgot to account for corner cases when they sent out this email!

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He sat in his office admiring her picture. Sara’s beauty was intoxicating, but it was her energy that drew him to her. They hadn’t been together very long, but long enough to know that they enjoyed each other’s company. They had shared many experiences throughout their travels and adventures that had helped them form a close bond. Sara’s lively nature complemented Aidan’s adventurous side. Anyone who met them was amazed by the lively pair’s synergy, and enthusiasm for living life.

In a few days they would proclaim to the world that they wanted to be with one another and no one else. As Aidan continued to stare at Sara’s picture he saw something that puzzled him, Sara’s smile was perfect, but in this particular shot a bit forced. He quickly dismissed the idea, and didn’t proceed to give it a second thought.

“So I think I finally found a date for your wedding!” Josh stepped into Aidan’s office and interrupted his daydreaming.

“Finally.” Aidan retorted with a sarcastic smile.

“Yeah I’ve got a good feeling about this one.”

“What’s different about this one?”

“She’s not much of a talker…but she’s got a quiet intensity about her that turns me on!”

“Any specifics…like what does she do for a living?”

“She’s a muse.”

“What?”

“She inspires the uninspired.”

“And how does she pay the rent?”

“Oh she’s independently wealthy. Apparently she was an i-banker up in NYC, struck it rich a few years back, and retired to become a muse. So fascinating.”

“Josh, what have we talked about?”

“Trust me she’s not a nut. You’ve gotta meet her, you’ll love her, seriously.”

“As long as you’re happy. But take it slow.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m late to dinner with her, I’ll tell you more later.” Josh waved and walked away.

“Ok but don’t forget rehearsal dinner tomorrow night at 7pm.” Aidan called out to him.

“Of course!”

***

It was a warm summer night, there was a slight breeze blowing in from the window, and the only thing that covered their bodies was a soft thin sheet. She lay on his chest, comforted by his strength. He had a strength and confidence that she hadn’t seen in someone for years. Her eyelids felt heavy and as she drifted into a deep slumber she felt at ease, the last words she whispered to him were, “I’m all yours.”

The next morning they awoke, and he looked down at her. His look made her melt; she was willing to do anything for him, because they understood each other. He quietly left the room, and said, “I’m sorry.” The comfort and security she had felt laying in his arms had been instantly replaced by pain. A pain she had foreseen, and effortlessly submitted to. She had tried so hard to prove that she was worthy of his love, as she had told him he was worthy of hers. But it hadn’t been enough. He was a determined man, and his determination outweighed all her efforts.

Her mind wasn’t at ease, but she submitted to the loss.

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Today is mother’s day.  So happy mother’s day to all mothers and soon-to-be mothers.  I applaud your efforts, passion, and commitment to raising a child.  Although I am not a mother and I’m not sure yet if I ever will be, I’ve been thinking about what it means to be a mother, and how much of an impact a mother has on a person’s life.

Like most mother-daughter relationships, my mother and I have had numerous differences over the years, especially when I was a teenager.   Part of differences were caused by cultural differences; I was trying to assimilate to being an American and adopt Western values, while she was trying to instill her Indian ones in me.  But there was one value that my mother instilled in me that I’ve held onto throughout life; she said, “Make sure you can stand on your own two feet.”

I never questioned her when she said this, because I saw how hard she worked to establish her own identity despite being subject to a very male-dominated culture.  My mom thinks she’s not the smartest person in the world, or the most ambitious, but I know she’s a very strong willed person and that matters more than raw intelligence.  She worked full time, went to school, cooked dinner every night, and still had time to yell at her two kids!  I can’t ever remember a point in my life when she didn’t have a job or wasn’t pursuing a career or her studies.  I suppose subconsciously I follow her example in leading my own life.

This past year my mom told me how proud she was of me.  She said, “You’ve proved yourself as a woman.”  That’s the highest compliment I’ve ever received from her, or anyone woman, and it made me very happy.  Although I think there’s still a lot I need to work on, and I look forward to in life, her compliment made me feel accomplished.

I’m sure that my mom and I will continue to have our differences throughout time, and if I ever have a daughter, she and I will probably have differences too.  Even though we may disagree on particulars I think its important to understand each other.  I’ve learned to understand my mom by evaluating the context in which she’s led her life, and she has done the same for me, as a result we have a mutual admiration for one another.  But it takes time, patience, and the mutual willingness to acknowledge that we are values to each other.  So thank you mom for believing in my and inspiring me to become the independent woman that I am today.

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For almost 7 months I’ve been working at a start-up, and I’ve noticed how incredibly motivated and productive my colleagues and myself are despite the long hours, Hibernate issues, and lack of heat in our buildingAnd even though I’m starting to get a little burned out, I still want to work and talk about the product every day of my life. So I started to wonder why I, and so many other engineers at start-ups, unlike our counterparts at large companies, have this incessant desire to work? To strive for perfection? The most obvious answer is: “you have equity!” But money is not the sole motivating force (if that was the case I would have gone to college and gotten my M.R.S). Others would say its the “entrepreneurial spirit” aka being being young and hungry. This is a valid reason, but I think its a consequence of a bigger phenomenon.

There are many productive people in the world, but what is it that motivates them to stay productive for long periods of time, despite facing success or failure? Its freedom; freedom to create a new product or service, and leave a mark on mankind. Knowing that we have freedom makes us want to improve ourselves, and what we’re working on every hour of everyday.

Freedom is defined as the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints. No where is this more evident than at a start-up. Unlike corporations that fill people’s days with meetings, and enforce stringent policies of decorum and conformity, a start-up gives people the independence to be creative and work uninhibited. So may its liberty that keeps us coding day in and day out.

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 was sitting in my third grade classroom when I decided that I was going to be a lawyer. Why did I want to be a lawyer, because a lawyer reads, writes, argues, and defends ideas. Those are all the skills I wanted to practice in my career. After I made the decision to become a lawyer, and told my parents about it I began preparing myself for it. I read voraciously, joined the debate team, studied philosphy, learned a new language, and tried to figure out the causation of events in the world.

Fifteen years later I decided it wasn’t the career for me. I was going to be an engineer. What made me decide to switch? All my freshman year economics classes. I chose to major in economics because I wanted to be a corporate lawyer. I was being taught that economics was a dismal science, one that wasn’t very precise, and that the problems in this field were monumental and virtually unsolvable due to the nature of men. Imagine someone telling you at 18: “99% of what you study in economics will not be applicable to the read world.” What a great ROI, 4 years of majoring in economics + $100k in tuition = B.S.

The search for a new career began. I always loved the sciences, especially neurobiology. Perhaps I could be a doctor, no a surgeon! Yes I was going to Neuorsurgeon. Imagine being Indian and telling your parents over winter break, “Mom, dad, I’m going to drop econ and major in biology so that I can become a neuorosurgeon.” Most Indian parents or parents in general would be ecstatic. Not my dad…”It’s a very noble profession. But it will take a long time, and med school is expensive. Why not go into engineering?” Engineering? What the hell is engineering? Its 9-5 sitting in front of the computer, going into a fab and watching robots move stuff around, and it involved math, a lot of math, I hate math! Plus, I had just taken a computer science class (to humor my dad, and because he was footing the bill for my education); my first semester I enrolled in CPS 6: Program Design and Analysis I. I sat through an entire 2/3 of a semester saying to myself, “WTF?” The other 1/3 I spent at the gym… I didn’t know what was going on, in lecture, in lab, and definitely not on the midterm! I tried, I failed, and I quit. “Next career please!”

Perhaps I had been too pre-judgmental about economics. So my second semster freshman year I enrolled in both micro- and macroeconomics. To make a long story short, I went with my gut; economics and I weren’t going to jive. Now a whole year had gone by, and while most freshman weren’t bothered by being undeclared, I needed a purpose, I needed a passion, I needed a major!

The summer after my freshman year I decided to stick around my college and experience CPS 6: Program Design and Analysis I round 2. I dedicated all my time and energy to this class, and learning just what the field was about. It turned out that there were so many facets, there was graphics, gaming, artificial intelligence, and my favorite bioinformatics; I could combine my computer savviness with the sciences! I ended up enjoying CPS 6 a lot. Call it the desire for instant gratification, but writing a program and seeing it work is one of the greatest feelings in the world for a novice programmer.

And the rest is history right? Not quite, the second semester of my sophomore year I was in CPS 104: Computer Organization and Programming, coding in assembly was boring as hell, but learning about computer architecture was awesome. I really enjoyed learning about systems, and how they were organized. I wanted to learn more. But that would mean switching to electrical and computer engineering, which would also mean transferring to the engineering school. So I met with the dean of the engineering school. Who basically told me I was going to be on the 5 year plan, because I was behind in my required curriculum. She basically wanted me to tell my parents, “Mom, dad, I need you to shell out another $35k, because I wasted the first on my freshman year economics major.” That was not going to happen, but I also wasn’t going to turn away from a challenge.

So I overloaded, I overloaded, and I overloaded. Can’t say I ended up with the best GPA, but my senior year first semester I took 5 engineering classes including two grad level, and made Dean’s List. Take that Dean Simmons! What did I give up? Tenting for bball games, partying, going dancing with my girlfriends, and all the time college students spend screwing around I spent in lab or TAing. Was it worth it, would I do it again? In a heartbeat! Sacrifice is defined as giving up a higher value for a lower one. If you’re passionate about something, in my case engineering, then giving up other things isn’t considered a sacrifice, because your working towards achieving your highest value.

Which brings me to present day, Saturday March 24th, 2007, I’ve been an engineer for almost 3 years now. I decided to start this blog for two main reasons: my passion for engineering and writing. You’ll figure out the ancillary reasons as you read my posts, and see the evolution of their content. Have a great day!

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