Comments on: Testing Traditions http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/ Coder. Speaker. Writer. Sat, 12 May 2012 19:55:36 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Poornima http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/comment-page-1/#comment-3538 Poornima Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:44:48 +0000 http://femgineer.com/?p=584#comment-3538 I like sharing, and I'm pretty open about everything. I can't live a "double life" one life is hard enough, but it would be fun to be a spy Sidney Bristow style :) In general its about being honest with people, and applying that same standard to your parents. At this point in my life my parents are just people, but deserve more because they took the time to raise me. They deserve and should want to know what I'm thinking and feeling, even if it conflicts with their views. I like sharing, and I’m pretty open about everything. I can’t live a “double life” one life is hard enough, but it would be fun to be a spy Sidney Bristow style :) In general its about being honest with people, and applying that same standard to your parents. At this point in my life my parents are just people, but deserve more because they took the time to raise me. They deserve and should want to know what I’m thinking and feeling, even if it conflicts with their views.

]]> By: Brian Armstrong http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/comment-page-1/#comment-3537 Brian Armstrong Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:43:42 +0000 http://femgineer.com/?p=584#comment-3537 Wow...great that you're sharing this so openly. I think just about every Indian girl I've ever met has had this "double life" thing going on with their parents, sounds like you're more open with them about it. I've always said (only half jokingly) that ya'll would make great spies (Jane Smith style) since you've been training for it since birth practically! Wow…great that you’re sharing this so openly. I think just about every Indian girl I’ve ever met has had this “double life” thing going on with their parents, sounds like you’re more open with them about it. I’ve always said (only half jokingly) that ya’ll would make great spies (Jane Smith style) since you’ve been training for it since birth practically!

]]> By: Poornima http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/comment-page-1/#comment-3536 Poornima Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:25:22 +0000 http://femgineer.com/?p=584#comment-3536 Justin, Thanks! Lots of mistakes, arguments, and rough times... but its after all your life and you've only got one! Justin,
Thanks! Lots of mistakes, arguments, and rough times… but its after all your life and you’ve only got one!

]]> By: Poornima http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/comment-page-1/#comment-3535 Poornima Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:22:32 +0000 http://femgineer.com/?p=584#comment-3535 Vladik, Yes you're right most first generation immigrant children have to deal with having a different philosophy from their parents. Glad to hear that you're willing to have those 'verbal arguments'! Some people are just too scared to even go down that path, but its basically standing up for yourself, which you'll have to do with parents, spouses, and bosses. Why not start doing it with the people who know you and love you the most. Welcome to the Bay Area! Vladik,
Yes you’re right most first generation immigrant children have to deal with having a different philosophy from their parents. Glad to hear that you’re willing to have those ‘verbal arguments’! Some people are just too scared to even go down that path, but its basically standing up for yourself, which you’ll have to do with parents, spouses, and bosses. Why not start doing it with the people who know you and love you the most. Welcome to the Bay Area!

]]> By: Poornima http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/comment-page-1/#comment-3534 Poornima Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:18:48 +0000 http://femgineer.com/?p=584#comment-3534 John, Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it! You're right it does parallel business. The theme is to be brave and avoid succumbing to the pressure of an authority figure when you know what is best for your life/company, which is hard to do when you're young and inexperienced. Parents and VCs have the experience, but sometimes you just have trust gut. Being under the gun of someone else's money does limit your freedom or at least makes you think twice. Thats why I believe in bootstrapping a business and being self-made. Not everyone has that luxury, but when you take a bounty you have to set boundaries. John,
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it! You’re right it does parallel business. The theme is to be brave and avoid succumbing to the pressure of an authority figure when you know what is best for your life/company, which is hard to do when you’re young and inexperienced. Parents and VCs have the experience, but sometimes you just have trust gut. Being under the gun of someone else’s money does limit your freedom or at least makes you think twice. Thats why I believe in bootstrapping a business and being self-made. Not everyone has that luxury, but when you take a bounty you have to set boundaries.

]]> By: John Beatty http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/comment-page-1/#comment-3533 John Beatty Mon, 15 Feb 2010 19:41:24 +0000 http://femgineer.com/?p=584#comment-3533 This is a great story -- I hope young people out there read it and are emboldened. Also, I'm sure this analogy has been made before, but it struck me how sometimes parents are like VCs (bad ones, anyway): - Most are conservative and strongly encourage you to follow the traditions and buy into the myths of a happy/successful life/company. - There's a generation gap between you and them (measured in Internet years for VCs!). - Some try controlling you with the money they've given you. - When the environment is rough and unpredictable, they're forced to have a portfolio strategy and prefer some of their young over others and sell off or starve the ones who don't have good prospects. - In some places, there's a culture of arranged marriages/acquisitions. - Happily, there are a few enlightened ones who give you full latitude to succeed or fail on your own terms and give you guidance with sufficient humility to realize that maybe the child has discovered a better way. Your story on life has obvious implications to running a business. :) This is a great story — I hope young people out there read it and are emboldened.

Also, I’m sure this analogy has been made before, but it struck me how sometimes parents are like VCs (bad ones, anyway):

– Most are conservative and strongly encourage you to follow the traditions and buy into the myths of a happy/successful life/company.
– There’s a generation gap between you and them (measured in Internet years for VCs!).
– Some try controlling you with the money they’ve given you.
– When the environment is rough and unpredictable, they’re forced to have a portfolio strategy and prefer some of their young over others and sell off or starve the ones who don’t have good prospects.
– In some places, there’s a culture of arranged marriages/acquisitions.
– Happily, there are a few enlightened ones who give you full latitude to succeed or fail on your own terms and give you guidance with sufficient humility to realize that maybe the child has discovered a better way.

Your story on life has obvious implications to running a business. :)

]]> By: Vladik http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/comment-page-1/#comment-3532 Vladik Mon, 15 Feb 2010 19:27:17 +0000 http://femgineer.com/?p=584#comment-3532 Reading this makes it sound like you're talking about my family as well. I'm originally from the former soviet union (Ukraine to be specific) and we moved to the states in the early 90's. My family's thinking generally aligns with what you described about your parents (minus the marriage part). Its taken a few verbal arguments here and there and time, but I think my parents are understanding as to where I'm coming from now. I recently picked up and moved to San Francisco (3 weeks ago); so that kind of sped up the process :) Reading this makes it sound like you’re talking about my family as well. I’m originally from the former soviet union (Ukraine to be specific) and we moved to the states in the early 90’s. My family’s thinking generally aligns with what you described about your parents (minus the marriage part). Its taken a few verbal arguments here and there and time, but I think my parents are understanding as to where I’m coming from now. I recently picked up and moved to San Francisco (3 weeks ago); so that kind of sped up the process :)

]]> By: Justin W http://femgineer.com/2010/02/testing-traditions/comment-page-1/#comment-3531 Justin W Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:51:01 +0000 http://femgineer.com/?p=584#comment-3531 Great post! Definitely shows a culture shift and a new way of thinking. Despite the hardships and mistakes along the way, sounds like the outcome thus far has been very rewarding :) Great post! Definitely shows a culture shift and a new way of thinking. Despite the hardships and mistakes along the way, sounds like the outcome thus far has been very rewarding :)

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